being foreign is not just a state in relation to the people who surround you. it is also a state in relation to oneself. it is a heightened awareness of oneself, a state of uncertainty, an internal rupture. judgements, categorizations - language itself, these are all in precarious slippage.
you move in a completely separate space, or in a separate dimension within social space, using a separate set of navigational tools. you are an isolated being, with your self as your absolute reference point. this is a redundancy, a circularity, a feedback loop.
the only way back is recognition.
the only way forward: a non-judgmental, non-categorical anti-discourse.
fashion tempts to serve as a means to traverse this awkward gap. in adopting the signs of advertising and display windows, and in aesthetic mimicry of others, one attempts to build relations outside of discursive functions. but this exchange of gestures and appearances - based on the similarity of signs - seems incapable of complex articulation, another tool of alienation, at best a way back, never a way forward.